She was only a teenager. They called her Goody Two-shoes. But the pretty over-achiever snapped, and stabbed her neighbor to death.  This occurred with voiceover in the anapestic tetrameter rhyming scheme preferred by Dr. Seuss.

And then there was Duck, which does for cable hunting shows what Plan 9 From Outer Space did for Sci-Fi. Special effects wizard Kimberlee Sobiech transformed a real chicken foot into a convincing duck foot for the film – a duck foot that relentlessly fired an Uzi. Director Stephen Decubellis was hesitant about the screening, though he had devoted 48 hours of his life to the film.  In fact, all the filmmakers at last Saturday night’s CAmm Slam devoted 48 hours.  The Creative Alliance CAmm Slam, now in its ninth year, is the “most Baltimore of Baltimore film contests.”  You get two days to make a film of eight minutes or less, with one common prop as a required element.  This year the prop was a Hereafter movie poster.  I think I can safely say that the CAmm Slam screenings were more fun than Clint’s new tsunami of hokum. Aside from great acclaim, winners receive cases of beer, cash, and equipment rental vouchers.

Tied with Duck for second place (why not spread the love?) was RedStarKGB’s group effort, The Beatable Women, a trip into absurd agitprop irony that could reach brilliance with maybe another 48 hours of work.

Linda Franklin (Barking Lips) delivered a stop-motion animated mutant Barbie doll and root vegetable opus, The Roots of Art, which played with critical pretentiousness in relentlessly funny voiceover. Third place.

Ducks and chickens gave way to a swan song of sorts, with Grasshopper’s (maybe final) entry, After This.  Grasshopper is a former first place winner and a nine-year veteran of CAmm Slam.

But the panel of judges (Alex Jones, Armando Valle, Ryan Graham), and the audience clap-o-meter, left no doubt as to this year’s winner.  Goody Two-Shoes, directed by Ernie Hampson, and starring his daughter Erica, brought home the golden (well, paper) popcorn box. Director of photography Dawn Campbell contributed with stylistic flourishes, and the coverage, angles, and editing assuredly propelled the jokes. The inspired rhyming voiceover neatly skirted that bugaboo of all guerilla filmmaking – location sound quality.

The real fun of CAmm Slam is being present at the screenings.  It’s an intimate hang-out-in-the-living room vibe. Warm spontaneity, laughs, and live music provided by the Wild Boners: Who needs Sundance?

— david warfield